Official summary after the jump.
The Punchline Summary:
No Coast Battles drops one of their biggest battles on their Valentines Day Massacre card, with Mudslinger vs Madness. Mudslinger is one of No Coast’s most popular battlers, but has not battled in the last few events. The Florida-California veteran, who gained notoriety from battling the likes of Iron Solomon, participating in the WRC’s, battling on the Wake Up Show,and being a part of some high profile battles, is making his debut in No Coast, and most recently battled Soul Khan at Grind Time’s Grizzlemania II.
Mudslinger had a lot of solid and funny punchlines in her three rounds. She had lines like “this is revenge for every chair you sat in”, “no one has ever give your back love, because they can only give you half hugs”, “you steal a lot of jokes from movies and thats not okay, I’ll beat shit out the copier-Office Space”, “hipster scene….he doesn’t fit in cause his biggest enemy is skinny jeans”, “his first words in life was daddy don’t touch me”, “its impossible for you to skinny dip”, “if this were Fight Klub, you’d make a shit load of soap”, and “The Office….this dudes a mixture between Oscar and Kevin”.
Madness consistently brings hilarious lines, and this battle was no different. He had bars like “your cunts so loose, I’d rather fuck a pair of torn panties”, “Richard Gere from Pretty Woman, trying to give this whore a better life”, “Rachel from Glee”, “my fist shoved in the place that you pee”, “if you’re a bird then I’m a bird, then definitely its a swallow”, “Mud-flaps”, “its obvious you haven’t got any secrets, since you’ve got everything off your chest”, “dudes scream out ‘show me your…personality’”, “wonder bra wondering where your tits are”, “by the way your tits called….no they didn’t”, “I just killed you with an entire round about your tits…well..you know what I men”, “tell your push up bra, it needs to do about 1000 more pushups”, “you joined Rent because actually having AIDS would add a realistic sense to your character”, and “tell me something I haven’t heard….you’re pretty”
The Punchline Count:
Mudslinger – 10
Madness – 15
The Report:
The return of Mudslinger, the most viewed battler in all of No Coast, who helped get the battle league off of the ground, over a year ago, when she battled Hindu Rock. This was probably the most anticipated battle for the No Coasters, having one of their favorite battler take on a bona fide veteran/legend in Madness. This battle did not disappoint. Mudslinger’s first round was ridiculous, having a lot of great lines, even incorporating a ‘stop-pause’ with that “I’ll beat shit out the copier-Office Space” bar. This is the kind of Madness that makes him the battle MC that he is: jokes that are pointed and are funny, but still slice his opponents. Every line that he had, just flowed, right after another and they were all just brutal-hilarious jokes. Even the “poem” that he had at the end, although I wish it rhymed, was fucking funny and the punchlines to the jokes in it were heavy.
I do hope that Mudslinger chooses to battle more, shes talented. She can definitely formulate strong punchlines and has some really funny setups and deliveries. I think she should jump into a Grind Time event or a King Of the Dot event, and could battle someone like Carter Deems, D’Meitz, Chedda Cheese, or Nfact, these would all be some pretty funny match ups.
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